iSpeak

Unpleasant surprise

It was our final week. The final day to be exact. It is usual that the major exam will be given on the last day. Friday is the usual last day of the examination. And it was October 15, 2010 when I had to take our Comparative of Politics final exam. I prepared for it badly and reviewed the subject in advance.

3pm was the assigned schedule of the examination for our class. I had to be there early. Having 1 hour travel time, I decided to leave home at 1pm so that I would still have an hour to review with my friends.

Upon riding the fx which would take me to Lawton, I called my auntie to ask the condition of my father. I was surprised when the picked up the phone crying. and so I started to ask why. She told me that the doctor has already made a statement that my father has only 6 months left because of his illness. And then I started crying, too. I was crying for the whole ride. Flash backs. Sweet memories. Unsaid words. It’s very painful. I keep imagining what would it be like if my Dad’s gone.

But I had to condition myself. I have a final exam on my major subject to take. Not just to take but also to pass. Upon arriving at the university, I didn’t even bother to look at my notes to review. I was just thinking. On what I should do. On what our family should do.

Few moments after, our instructor was already there. And I had to take and pass that exam. It was hard. Nothing harder, I think, to have something done when your mindset is not fine. But my Dad served as an inspiration for me. I did better on that exam. Upon answering it, I already knew I’d pass it. And so I did.

I love you, Dad. More than anyone could ever think of. You are my inspiration on everything. You will always be.

For AJ Tengtio

I can still remember that day. It was january 04, 2007, Thursday. Our group was preparing for our speech choir competition. We have a rehaersal on that day.

Unfortunately, I was under the leadership of my not-so-close and strict classmate. And so i had to obey ALL his rules. And this day came. January 04, 2007, he announced that we are going to have a rehearsal at his place by 5pm. It was before 5pm when lovely and I were waiting for a jeep to arrive and so we would be on our way to my leader’s house. Before riding on the jeep that has arrived, I received a message. The message went like this, “Pls pray for AJ TENGTIO. He is in the ICU of cavite medical right now. Pls pass.”

AJ is one of the greatest man I’ve ever known. We were classmates since our 3rd grade up to the last year of my primary education. We liked each other. We were always partners. We were rivals, academically, extra-curicullarly and many more. We often fought. But the greatest thing about this is that we liked each other.

And so this message called my attention and so I told Lovely immediately about the message. Since she also knew him, we came up of a plan. And that plan was to go first to our leader’s house and ask for his permission to skip just one session of our rehearsals to visit AJ. He disagreed and told us that we could only leave his house by the hour of 6. We obeyed. By 6pm, he still did not dismiss us. We still continued rehearsing. I was really frustrated not only because I was not given a chance to visit aj but also I wasnt able to tell my dad that I would be coming home late. It was already 7pm and we were still rehearsing. To my frustration, i walked out madly. Lovely followed me. We went home. I reached my home at 7:15pm. by 7:30, my former classmate paid me a visit at my house to tell one news. “aj’s dead”. and so I started crying.

If only  disobeyed my leader. If only I did not ask for his permission anymore. If only I walked out a little earlier. Maybe I was there..maybe i was on my childhood sweetheart’s side before he died. if only i was there, i was able to ask for his forgiveness..

Height Doesn’t Matter.

I’m a petite girl. I am only 5 feet tall. Yes, 5 feet FLAT. I am not really blessed when it comes to height. I remember, there was a woman who told me that I am beautiful, charming, and talented. BUT, there is something lacking. There is something missing. - HEIGHT.

When I was a kid, I never really cared of how tall or small I am. Cause Ive always kept in mind that when I grow up, I will be taller. But, it was when I entered college I realized that my hopes are becoming a bit impossible.

The elders would usually say that when a woman has already reached the age of 18, she will no longer grow taller. Same as with the men who could only grow taller until the age of 21. But I never really believed that it is true. But as I was observing myself these past few years, my height is not changing anymore. (although I am not yet 18!)

I do not consider this as a problem. I never even considered it as a hindrance of what I want to do and what I want myself to be.

At the age of 5, I started joining pageants. As far as I can remember, I won as Miss Day Care. And from that achievement, it made me more confident in joining other pageants despite of my height problem.

I, again, was chosen to compete for Mutya ng Julian when I was 9 1/2 years old. Luckily, I won again as Unang Lakambini in that pageant. I was only grade four that time and I was already competing with other grade 5 and grade 6 pupils.

When I entered high school, my adviser convinced me to join Ms. Intrams. I was only 11 1/2 years old back then! All the other candidates are like grown-up ladies already. They already know how to put on make ups. They have mature bodies already. But still, because of my over-confidence, I was not intimidated by any of them. Out of 8 candidates, only 3 will be chosen to move to the final round, which includes the question and answer portion. Luckily, I was chosen to be one of those three candidates who will move on to the next round. The other two contestants were a representative from the sophomore year batch, and the other one was a representative from the senior batch. The question I picked went like this: “What can you do about the current social and political problem nowadays?” And I can remember my answer went like, “As a student, the least I can do for now is to study hard. So that when I achieve all my goals in life, I myself could be a good leader and ruler of my country.” That answer made me the Ms. Intrams 2005 1st runner up. DESPITE OF MY HEIGHT. :)

During my 2nd year, I was chosen to represent the class for the Mutya ng San Sebastian. But this pageant was tougher. I had to undergo screening first. 31 candidates had themselves screened for the pageant. Out of 31 aspiring candidates, only 12 will be chosen. The panelists screened us through question and answer. And I bet their question why is classic my favorite music which I answered with “Current songs are like fads that would only be popular only for today, but classic lives forever.” convinced them that I am deserving to be one of those 12 lucky candidates. I, together with the other 11 accepted applicants, underwent many trainings, catwalk practices, proper dressing up, proper putting of make up, etc. I personally think that because of those series of trainings, I became a lady. I more mature woman. But, again, height became a problem. Our mentor really saw a great potential on me during the ramp practices. He often uses me as a model or example for my fellow candidates. He said that the only problem with me is HEIGHT. I do not know if I would take it as a compliment or what. On the coronation night, I got the title Mutya ng San Sebastian Miss Talent 2007. I did not make it up to the finals, maybe because of my height, but the Miss Talent award was enough.

I also had series of ramp modelling in Cavite during my 3rd year high school. And height did not become a major problem with my modelling.

I may conclude that no matter how tall or petite you are, if you have the beauty, the body, the brains, confidence, and bibo-nature, you could never be intimidated by those other people who supress you by height. :P

Michelle Vale Cruz - last on the left side.

Michelle Vale Cruz - Mutya ng San Sebastian Ms. Talent 2007

An art of my make-up artist friend. 2 days before the pageant of Mutya ng San Sebastian.

One of my fashion shows. Samantha and Michelle Vale Cruz.

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

Paper. :)

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

HAHAHA. cant remember. XD